Point Taken

OK Hashem. I remember having this conversation with You recently...I mean I know I'm getting older but my memory isn't going yet.

I remember saying basically I CANNOT take it anymore.

Too much. Too much stress. Too much worry. Not enough of what I need; money being tops in my mind, but other things as well.

I can't take it anymore! Let me off this ship! Let me sleep and do nothing for a month. I want quiet. I want rest. I want, most of all, to have a break from worry.

So what happens? YOU GIVE ME MORE!

What gives? WHY? You don't believe me? You really think I can take more on my plate? You want to prove me wrong....

Oh...

Point taken.

What's Cooking?

There is a very good cook who lives somewhere near where I work, if scent is any indicator. By about noon, everyday, a delicious aroma wafts up and I'm once again hit with the desire to find the door and plead for "just a bite" of whatever she is making.


Yesterday it was soup, and I was so inspired by the aroma that I came home to chop vegetables and mix spices so I could have my own delectable brew. Not as good as hers was, I'm fairly certain of that, but good nonetheless. Todays menu, at her house at least, was fried fish. Coming from a family, aside from myself, of non-fish eaters I passed, rather reluctantly, to turn my hand to a sea-based meal.


We have never, to the best of my knowledge, ever seen each other, spoken to each other, met in any way shape or form. If we have passed on the street I wouldn't  know who she was, unable as I am to locate through smell the kitchen of my unknown chef.


But she, unbeknownst to her, has a power over my mind, and my stomach. Daily she goes about her business, preparing dinner for her children, her husband, herself, her mind perhaps drifting from "needs more salt?" to whatever tasks she has for the day, to a beautiful Torah shiur (discussion on the Torah) she learned that morning. Certainly she isn't thinking about a woman standing on the landing to her office wishing she could have "just a bite."


So much of our life is lived that way. We just do; and we may never know, for good or bad, the effect that doing has on another. How much more so can we affect another's life when we actually have an interaction with them, casual and as unimportant, on the face of it, as it may seem?

Oh! Woe ;Grumble,growl, (sigh)

Really, you all (the two people who are maybe reading this) can just ignore the body and stick with the headlines.

It has been that kind of a ...week? 2 weeks?

As many of you know my mom's lymphoma is back, and she is being treated, but there is a limit. Emotionally she sounds good...but I'm here, she's there, and it makes it so unreal. Thats the Oh! Woe. Really there isn't much I can do but pray and that's what I'm doing and thank you to the many of my friends who are praying for Masha Aaron bat Bluma Basya as well.

The grumble. Well a check to my dh from a client bounced. He'll make good on it, but till it comes were are in a rather precarious state; mortgage due and we owe others money. Argh!!! Luckily the others are friends and are willing to wait to deposit the check we gave them, but the mortgage? I don't think the bank will be so friendly. Oh, and we need a new fridge. DESPERATELY!!!!!

(Sigh) because everyone is on edge and snappy.

See? Really not worth reading. Nothing insightful or interesting. Just life, being life, tossing stuff at us.
So far we've managed to keep ducking and not getting hit, or at least not getting hit badly...but...how I wish, how |I pray that life stops using us as a target. I want to feel unpressured (is that a word? If not it should be!) for a bit!

Hey if you read, todah rabah...and if not...well exactly how do you know I'm asking you that question?

What Language are You Speaking?

I have often had this problem; it seems to me that I just can't quite make out what the other person is saying. I don't mean the words themselves, but the intent. Sometimes it seems people are speaking in code and I just don't get it. 


It is me. Most people seem to share the language. They laugh at the appropriate moment, share the same basic tastes, etc etc. It is as if I'm living just out of step in space and time.


Sometimes I just feel so lonely...